Friday, February 17, 2012

How to Date a Writer, Really

I saw a post on CBC's CanadaWrites page, one that's been shared amongst writers on FB. I had to respond. Here's the original post:

And here's my response.

How to Date a Writer, Really.

1. Writers have visions of grandeur because they’re brave enough to put their work out there. And they’ve been rejected over and over again for a variety of reasons, their work wasn’t Canadian enough or it was too Canadian, it was too literary or too much of a genre work; you name it, a writer’s been rejected because of it. So they’ve had to developed strong self-esteem about their work.

2. Sure it helps if you like a writer's work, but you don’t have to. A smart writer understands that not everyone likes their work. As long as you respect them for what they do, you’ll be fine.

3. Some writers are moody, some aren’t. Some accountants are moody and some aren’t. Everyone has an inner life and everyone else has problems. If you don’t like a moody person, then don’t date a moody person.

4. Not all writers are financially insecure. If you only write fiction or poetry, without doing anything else, then you might be financially insecure. Then again, you might be successful and make money at writing. If your writer love does that, don’t call them a sellout. Actually a lot of the writers I know also work for a living, either writing or other stuff. Some of them are the only bread winner. And if actually push a writer to make some money, they might even become a better writer because of it.

5. Good God, please only be eccentric if you are eccentric. One thing writers hate is someone trying to be something they aren’t.

6. Maybe you’ll turn up in their work, maybe you won’t. Some writers rely on their personal lives to create and others use their imaginations. Whatever you do, don’t go looking for yourself in their work because you could be mistaken.

7. If my wife walks in on me while I’m wearing underwear, leafing through a book of photographs and putting out a cigarette in a bowl of ice cream, I hope she interrupts me. For one thing, we don’t allow smoking in the house and I don’t smoke anyway. And I’m not that delicate that I'll lose an idea just because you interrupt me while I’m thinking about it Also, like every relationship, don’t walk on eggshells. Writers hate it when you do that.

8. Based on a recent survey I heard on the radio, it seems that everyone was picked on as a kid at some point. And not all writers are/were weird. Some of us were just normal kids who read books. Some even played sports like hockey. Or we didn’t smell erasers. Some of us even like talking to people at wedding and other social events. We’re a diverse group, us writers.

9. Don’t know about other writers, but when I’m on a roll, I’m able to stop, interact with other people, and then get back to that roll. It’s just something I developed working as a professional writer for 25 years. When you got to pay the bills you can’t wait for inspiration.

10. My wife, who is not a writer, is better at writing notes in cards than me. I can write a decent book or magazine piece but she does all the notes. But whatever you do, if you date a writer, don’t pigeonhole them based on stereotypes. That’s just annoying.

1 comment:

Haddayr said...

Loved this; THANK you.